Saturday, April 18, 2009

i have a badge, so it's official.

i. am. employed. (!!!!!!!!!!!) 

after a brief stint playing find-the-social-security-card this morning (and naturally, freaking the hell out), i went and signed all the forms and they took my picture. i have a lanyard now. it's purple and pretty. :) 

i'm hoping this'll be a bit smoother transition into this job than it was for me at my last job because i heard the words "orientation" and "seminar" thrown around, so i don't think i'm getting thrown into anything too insane. although, the site i'm at doesn't have a manager yet, so hopefully that won't make things too rocky. 

::sigh:: i can't even begin to tell you what kind of a relief it is to not have this horrid feeling of impending doom looming over me. i can breathe again. i can make plans for things i want to save up for. i can build my savings account back up!! (currently it has about $1.52 in it. it did have about $4,000 at the start of this ridiculous period of unemployment). that's been one of the hardest parts of being unemployed. yes, it was a great blessing that i had saved so much that i could live off it for the past 8 or so months, but it's very disheartening and depressing to see all that hard-earned and saved for cash go slipping away. 

i start on monday. and i am NOT looking forward to waking up at 6:30am (torture) and driving in rush hour traffic (double torture). but it's gonna be worth it. 

on an unrelated note, i bought the decemberists' new album and i've never fallen in love with an album so deeply. to be fair, this is the one of few bands i totally geek out about. i think a big part of their appeal, to me, is that they pander to my affinity for language and the archaic, (oh, and good music to boot) but this album goes beyond that and totally tugs at my literary and theatrical heartstrings. i'm still trying to work out the plot, but man, it's beautiful and epic and simply wonderful. ::gush::

and with that, i'm over and out. 

Monday, April 13, 2009

the first of many, i hope.

today was a good day. and that's probably the first time i can accurately say that without lying even the tiniest bit. 

- first of all, i FINALLY got a job!!!!!!! i've been trying to get this "patient services representative" (which is basically a glorified receptionist) job for months, and they finally called this morning, made an offer, and i hauled myself down to do the drug screen and a TB test. but until it's official, i'm not completely celebrating yet, because who the frick knows what kind of catastrophe could appear out of nowhere and foil all my plans. but it would appear things are turning around. patience is so hard. so very very ridiculously hard. but god is good, i cannot deny.

- secondly, i got my taxes back! so now i have money to live on until the checks start rolling in. huzzah for evading poverty yet again!

- thirdly, i'm gonna see jenny lewis with jen tomorrow. love love love jenny. love love love jen too.

- fourthly, i learned some old switchfoot songs on the guitar that i love and have missed, and have more potency now in my (gulp) mid-twenties. 

- and fifthly (which is a word, apparently), my small group is completely wonderful. i'll gush about them later. but suffice to say, without them, these past 4 or 5 months would have been unbearable. it is beautiful to see such diverse people grow together and really begin to live out what being the body of christ means. it's exciting, and scary and amazing all at once. 

to conclude, i of all people am amazed to find myself on high ground after feeling like i've been drowning in the deluge of all the incredibly hard and painful moments of the past few months. god is good. and his timing is all too symbolic. lol. admittedly cheesy, i feel somewhat reborn in some way that i can't completely put to words.  i'm myself again, but better, if that makes sense...

anyway, gotta end somewheres. 


here we go again.

as easter draws to a close, i'm struck by the need to start putting things down into words again. every other blog i've written in feels tainted, or fermented in some way, where to go back and try to connect where i left off with where i am today would take an eon or two. i won't go so far as to be cliché and say i'm a new person, because i'm not. i'm still the same ol' me, just older, wiser, dumber, renewed, confused, broken, beat down, healed, and much more full of love. 

so, here we go. a newish beginning, with new questions, ponderings, ramblings and gibberish, and through all that, let's hope i can make some sense of the chaos.